BECAUSE THEY CAN PLAY F'CKING GOOD FOOTBALL: PART 3
As Manchester United's season motors along, Ten Hag's team hit Cyprus, the media follow, Casemiro is a 'away crowd berater', and there is 'Oasis in the gut of the foe' Part 1, 2 below
Tune to MOVE YA
through the days
late summer
autumn
winter
spring
the ingot coloured afternoons and eves
of May
this:
this
is
Manchester United
De aap komt uit de mouw
(Dutch proverb: the monkey comes out the sleeve)
PART 3
page 19
‘i think you know what i mean’
Nicosia, 5 October, 2022
Erik ten Hag: ‘for me it’s quite obvious, for you maybe not, but i think you understand why this is.’
Erik is prickling; a tad prickly - for him
the reporter: ‘no i don’t – its like he’s a special case, seems a bit odd.’
Ronaldo.
Who else?
The manager said he did not bring him on at the Etihad Stadium 4 days before when Man Utd were being battered by Man City out of ‘respect’ for his career.
Ten Hag does, now, explain - try to.
‘For me there is no difference. I made myself clear, it’s always about how you live by the day, you line up the strongest team you have, but there are differences, nobody is the same in the team. I will treat everyone with respect but they all have different backgrounds, with the character they’re different, I have to treat players differently to get the best out of them, but there are general standards and values that count for everyone.”
But though it became clearer - the manager’s thinking - his thinking did not become any clearer about why he did not bring Ronaldo on when United were losing 4-1 at City, instead introducing Anthony Martial.
Immediately after the 6-3 derby loss, ETH said: ‘I wouldn’t bring him in because out of respect for Cristiano, for his big career.’
Muddled thinking?
If so, this is a surprise from the usually lucid Erik…
page 20
The Count hits Cyprus and the turquoise Mediterranean doth sparkle
Neil ‘Cuddles’ Custis of The Sun didn’t come to Cyprus for Omonia Nicosia v Manchester United in the Europa League group game
so The Sun sent a cub reporter, Frankie Christou;
and there on the Mediterranean sun-drenched isle was David ‘Disco’ McDonnell of The Mirror, the Daily Mail’s Chris ‘Kristoff’ Wheeler, Charlotte ‘Duncy-Wuncy’ Duncker of The Times, James ‘Ooh Ducky’ Ducker of The Telegraph fame, Jamie ‘Kid Paradise’ Jackson of The Guardian, ESPN’s Rob ‘Roberto’ Dawson, and zero PA or Independent hacks.
at GSP Stadium, United went behind to Nicosia, on 33 mins, to a quasi-farcical breakaway strike, and lost the plot.
Ten Hag went searching for it, found the story of the game at halftime by yanking off Tyrell Malacia and Jadon Sancho (at fault for the goal); he brought on Rashford and Martial (the latter, for Bruno F, when the second half was underway) and these two substitutions scored all of the visitors’ finishes in the 3-2 comeback win.
not the last time Ten Hag acts to change the team, in-game, and it works out the right way.
he is a dab-hand at reconfiguring the XI.
afterwards, a reporter cited to Ten Hag how Nicosia had won only once in 26 Euro games proper before giving his man utd side an almighty SCARE.
And, too, how Manchester United fell apart AFTER going behind - until the break.
‘So,’ the reporter asked, ‘was this display as concerning in its own way as the 6-3 derby defeat at City?’
a moment.
a stare.
am I really being asked this???
who is the dude asking this???
then:
Ten Hag laughed and eyed the reporter - its the same dude who asked why he did not bring on Ronaldo due to ‘respect’ for his career.
Erik laughed again and explained WHY it was not the same as the City reverse.
‘We dealt with the setback, came back and that’s a positive from a mentality area but you can’t compare this with the game on Sunday.’
end of press conference; erik walked out,
the Sun’s cub reporter Frankie Christou waltzed in from the mix zone, and needing a nickname to join the gang, was given one and instantly regaled with:
‘welcome along The Count of Frankie Christou to reporting on the grand soap opera that is
Manchester
United.’
chortles all round.
you had to be there.
some of us were.
page 21
to
Goodison
Park
for a 7pm kickoff against the Premier League’s tightest defence: only seven conceded, two less than Man City, Newcastle, Brighton, Liverpool and West Brom and then…
the result:
Everton 1 Man Utd 2, 9 October 2022.
nice away win for erik’s lads.
now to Old Trafford for the Omonia Nicosia Europa League group game reverse fixture which
requires a 90min +2.27sec Scott McTominay-winner
to be won;
who becomes
merely
United’s
seventh
different
scorer
this term
page 22
ETH ain’t just managing a team; he’s managing upwards - the owners, all that bad feeling from fans; unlike Pep G at Manchester City
page 23
Manchester United 0 Newcastle United 0
We cannot score.
We cannot score.
13 Premier League goals
in 9 games
Ronaldo, Rashford, Martial, Sancho, Fernandes, Antony, McTominay:
no-one else has scored.
they – us all – must do better.
this is a process sure
but I know the media and the fans.
how long before the process is deemed the product???
The Guardian, 17 October 2022:
‘Erik ten Hag said his team wished to tell the story of the game but the visitors stymied his hopes and instead the fare resembled basketball in an end-to-end nature that largely bypassed measured midfield play.’
ETH: “We broke them but didn’t kill them, by not scoring.”’
In the same press conference:
a reporter: ‘it was the most animated I’ve seen you, cheesed off with the officials?’
the answer, to the same reporter who asked the ronnie and the comparison to man city question, a shrug.
page 24
Man Utd 2 Tottenham Hotspur 0 19 October
Ronaldo again;
it is Ronaldo walking off
away,
down the tunnel – 2-0 we are up – and he is going, after refusing to come
on as substitute
the music only he can hear plays to him for his reverse ring walk;
there is no gamble left, all is calcified;
where is the romance ronnie once possessed???
as on the field we remain 2-0 up; Fred has scored and played well,
and Bruno – at last my wonderful Bruno – has scored:
his second of the season
his tongue stuck out in celebration
hair crazed - 15,000 VOLTS FRAZZLING;
Fred is after him to join the glee.
2-0 we win and we could’ve used Ronnie
we only used three replacements -
Scott McTominay – 76 minutes
Christian Eriksen – 87 minutes
Anthony Elanga – 87 minutes
Cristiano; oh Cristiano...
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